It is Easter Monday and the snow is on the ground, perhaps that is why I am feeling slow and reluctant to come out of my Hibernation which has been called ‘Lockdown’.
Lockdown is gradually lifting and with it the re-opening; restarting of businesses, shops and offices and places of work, soon we will be able to meet and mingle again. Everyone is cheering, Yes?
Is it just me who is reluctant? Reluctant to get going again? Reluctant to face the pressures of ‘normal’ life which have been missing over this past year? Reluctant to re-enter the fray? Reluctant to have the decision-making returned to me?
I certainly feel like a bear reluctant to come out of Hibernation, and with spring being slow this year I feel as if I am being awakened before I am ready, being ushered out before I am finished with my slumber, with my slowness!
I have many fears and anxieties about ‘going back’ to work, ‘going back’ to life; what I actually feel is that it is ‘re-entering’ life after all this time at home and I am anxious. I am anxious about will I be able to do it? Am I capable, do I have the energy? Facing people again – that is a bit of a wow, I don’t think I am ready for social integration? Driving distances, shopping in physical shops, – it is as if I have lost confidence in doing these things.
So I am slow, I am reluctant and I feel as if I am on my own in this with everyone else frantically rushing about in preparation.
Can I just go back to my cave, let it all happen around me, wake me up when everyone has found their rhythm and I’ll try and slot in?
And yet, and yet yesterday was Resurrection Day,
11 The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you.Romans 8:11
That same resurrection power is in me. That same power which raised Jesus from the dead is available to me too.
I don’t need to get stuck in doubting, fearful, slow Saturday, inbetween the Cross and the Resurrection. I am to harness that power and live post Resurrection, unafraid, fears dealt with, confident that the God who raised Jesus from the dead is the same God living and empowering me even in the here, even in the now and even in the unknown days ahead.
I don’t know what this re-entering of life will look like; I don’t know if it will be any fun! I don’t know what any of these coming days will bring but I am reminded of the song
And because He lives, I can face tomorrow
Because He lives, all fear is gone
Because I know, I know He holds the future
And life is worth a living just because He lives
Because He lives, and because that same resurrection power is dwelling in me I can face the future, I can place my trust, I can re-enter and I can live with the fulness of life He gives.
So slowly I will shake myself, slowly I will come out of my Hibernation and slowly I will re-enter this world which is before me; Because I know He holds the future and life is worth the living just because He lives.