Unmet Expectations

Unmet expectations = frustration!

At the weekend I placed expectations upon someone, even knowing as I was doing so that they could not meet them.  The result was that I was left disappointed and frustrated with myself as much as with the person.  I was unrealistic in my expectation, I knew they could not meet or fulfill my needs.

So what could/should I have done?

First of all I think that I have to accept a situation/person as it is/they are and not somehow think that they are going to change out of the blue, even if I want them too, even if it would suit me if they did, even if it would be nice if they did, because the reality is that they have their own issues to deal with.

Being realistic about the person/situation then means that I look and realise that my needs are not going to be met there.  So I need to look elsewhere.  Perhaps I need to look within myself, can I meet my own needs?  Is there another person I can share with?  Are my needs just purely selfish and self-centred in the first place?  Have I just entered into self-pity mode, feeling sorry for myself?  Do I just need to stop thinking about myself and turn to others, do a good deed to take me out of myself?

Perhaps I should have applied the  HALT principals.

Am I:

  • ANGRY?
  • TIRED?

So in the midst of the frustration, perhaps I should have taken that step back, looked at these needs, attended to them then the outcome would have been better, nicer, kinder for everyone concerned.

Perhaps also I am looking for a person to fill a need, which actually only God can fill.  Perhaps I needed to cry out to God, perhaps I needed to take all my hurts, feelings and cares to Him and find my solace in Him, find my fulfillment in Him.

Next time …

Hopefully next time, I will HALT, I will turn to my Saviour and cry out to Him and look for my fulfillment in Him.

Next time, I could choose to turn to Praise, I could choose to turn to rejoice and I could choose not sink into that frustrated, disappointed self-pity-party.

Next time ..

Today even – I choose joy.



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